F.A.G. against Juice

Lucky Number 13 came up big in Las Vegas unless your name was Orenthal James Simpson. O.J. was convicted of an armed robbery that occurred on Sept. 13 and was found guilty by a jury on the 13th anniversary of his L.A. murder acquittal. The Vegas jury deliberated for 13 hours after a 13-day trial. So perhaps this means the “Juice” is no longer loose reports espn.com.

But it could get worse for O.J. here soon. Reports are that he will also be on trial in Hollywood California by the Film Actors Guild (F.A.G.). George Clooney is the elected judge, juror, and prosecution of the F.A.G. It is up to him to review video tapes of O.J. Simpson’s acting and sports announcing to see if he will be allowed to appear on television or movies anytime soon. Clooney’s job is going to be a tedious one because many remember O.J. in the Naked Gun movies, he also appeared in more than 10 television shows and did some sports commentary. All of it was nearly unbearable the first time around, we can only imagine how painful it will be for Clooney to watch these.

We asked one of the members of the F.A.G. board, Nicolas Cage, on his feelings about the F.A.G.’s case against O.J. Here are some excerpts from what Mr. Cage had to say.

“First off, I represent the worst actors in the Film Actors Guild. I have been tried several times myself because no matter what movie I appear in I play the same role over and over again. They allowed me to stay in Hollywood because my movies still find some way to make money. We feel that nothing that O.J. does now will be beneficial, money wise, to the F.A.G. His acting ability may be just slightly worse than mine, but his crowning achievement was his ability to play an innocent man, and was nominated for a F.A.G. award for the scene where he had to make a glove that we all know fit look like it didn’t. Unless silent films make a comeback I feel O.J.’s acting career is over.”

Nicolas Cage also hinted at the fact that Ben Affleck may be the next person on the list to be tried by the F.A.G. As long as Ben does not try to act as his own attorney Scrappy Sports is afraid that he may still remain in Hollywood.

But then again, what does scrappy know?