Halloween for the Sports Nut

Ok with only a week to go till all the excitement of halloween parties are upon us, Scrappy is here to help with your last minute costume ideas. No normal blog this time, just a list of costume ideas and what you need to make them.

1) Larry Johnson: just take your girlfriend to the party and slap her every 5 minutes.

2) Adam 'pacman' Jones: have your girl dress like a stripper and "make it rain" with fake money

3) Kobe Bryant: get some fake hands and wrap them around your throat. you are a shaqless kobe bryant choking in the playoffs

4) A-Rod: go to the halloween party with your girl friend and leave with whoever is dressed in a madonna costume

5) Tom Brady: all you need is crutches for this one

6) Tony Romo: Diaper, check...Passifier, check...Baby bottle, double check

7) Joba Chamberain: Drive home from the party drunk and get arrested

8) Donovan McNabb: Carry a football with you and randomly throw it at the ground 5 feet in front of someone or throw it 7 feet over their head randomly after making one nice pass

9) Bill Belichick: While playing any party games that the host has planned cheat.

10) Jose Canseco: Tell everyone at the party secrets about your friends then ask if they could help inject a needle in your butt

Could Scrappy Sports go big time?

Well many of you have supported me and my random rants, and sometimes humorously sarcastic sports blogs for quite some time. Others have recently just started reading since I moved to the new site, because of my previous host shutting down without warning. I appreciate all the emails, myspace messages, as well as facebook comments, but could it be time for Scrappy to move on?

Hopefully!!! I am writing this post because as soon as I am finished I will be sending an email to my boss at ESPN radio to see if there is any interest in me doing a sports blog for them. I did not stutter, and no your eyes are not playing tricks on you. Now at first I was tempted to put the web address for the radio station up, or even give out my boss' email to garner more support, but that wouldn't be very "Scrappy".

So instead I decided to write this blog, and take the time to sell myself, and also make a confession. Scrappy is a sell out. I can take some of the edge out of my blogs if it would help get my blog to a wider audience. I could be more serious, although, would that be as fun? Well if that is what it would take for me to make some extra cabbage, then so be it. You all may hate me for a bit, but I know you love Scrappy deep down inside, so you'll be back with open arms.

I guess is what I'm trying to say is, Devin give Scrappy Sports a chance, or at least me. You won't regret it.

But then again, what does Scrappy know?

Are you ready for some futbol?

Another year is quickly coming to an end. The trees are starting to change, and soon in place of Halloween costumes you will start to see Christmas trees popping up all over stores. With a new year, will Americans come any closer to accepting soccer as a major sport, or will it continue to be ignored like vegatables even on an over weight childs plate.

I have heard the excuses, yet I still remain puzzled as to why soccer has yet to catch on. It is the biggest sport world wide, yet it remains burried deep in the bowels of American sports culture. Some people say there is not enough scoring. However a match that ends 3-1 would be the equivalent of a 21-7 football game.

Others say it is too slow paced, but the action is far more continuous than a baseball game where the pitcher takes 10 seconds to get a sign, and the batter takes an additional 5 seconds to adjust his cup, another 3 seconds to spit, and then 6 more seconds to go through his routine that involves tapping the plate with his bat, adjusting the straps on his batting gloves, and occasionally giving his own nipples a quick pinch just for the fun of it.

Others complain about how the players flop and act just to get calls. Have you seen an NBA game recently? Those players are even worse as far as acting. Some Futbol stars are worthy of an Oscar nomination in comparison.

More youth in America play soccer growing up than any other organized youth sport, but somehow interest is lost after a certain point. I will remain baffled by these things until soccer gets a just showing in America.

Now if you think the fans of the Raiders are insain, or cringe thinking of getting a battery thrown at your head in Philly, or you think Red Sox Nation has the greatest following (by the way, how come you didn't hear about something called red sox nation prior to them winning a championship), they all pale in comparison to the groups that follow their futbol club religiously.

Can we try to open our minds and give soccer in America a fair chance. I mean after all we embraced hockey as a national sport and we have more open grassy fields than we do frozen ponds.

But then again, what does Scrappy know?

1981

27 years ago, around the time Scrappy fought his way from the darkness toward the light, a legend was born. Although this time I am not referring to me. I am talking about Pac-man.
Just think, the best selling coin operated game in history was derived from a night out for pizza.
The games creator, Tohru Iwatani was out with some friends for pizza when the idea struck. He took one slice and next thing you know pac-man was born.

In it's history, over $100 million worth of quarters have been dropped in a pac-man game. It took eight people 15 months to create the original Pac-Man arcade game. Four worked on the hardware, four worked on the software. And in case you have not made it to the end of this munch-a-thon there are 256 levels to chew your way through. Ask Billy Mitchell, the first known person to complete the game with a perfect score (3,333,360). He made Pac-man eat every dot, fruit, and ghost (all four ghosts were eaten with each power pellet) taking around 6 hours to do.

There was even a song about Pac-man that made its way up to number 9 on the music charts. The song was based off of Ted Nugent's "Cat Scratch Fever"

Pac-Man Fever by Jerry Buckner and Gary Garcia

I gotta pocket full of quarters,
And I'm headed to the arcade.
I don't have a lot of money
But I'm bringing everything I've made.

I've gotta callus on my finger,
And my shoulder's hurtin' too.
I'm gonna eat 'em all up,
Just as soon as they turn blue.

'Cause I've got Pac-Man Fever
Pac-Man Fever
It's driving me crazy
driving me crazy
I've got Pac-Man Fever
Pac-Man Fever
I'm going out of my mind
going out of my mind
I've got Pac-Man Fever
Pac-Man Fever
I'm going out of my mind
going out of my mind.

I've got all the patterns down,
Up until the ninth key.
I've got Speedy on my tail,
And I know it's either him or me.

So I'm heading out the back door,
And in the other side.
Gonna eat the cherries up,
And take 'em all for a ride.

Chorus

I'm gonna fake it to the left,
And move to the right,
'Cause Pokey's too slow,
And Blinky's out of sight.

Now I've got 'em on the run,
And I'm looking for the high score.
So it's once around the block,
And I'll slide back out the side door.

I'm really cookin' now,
Eating everything in sight.
All my money's gone,
So I'll be back tomorrow night.

Chorus

Now you may wonder why I am telling you the history of Pac-man on a sports blog. The truth is Adam "pacman" Jones, the cowboys corner back, has made a mockery of the once untarnished name Pac-man.

Adam "pacman" Jones, again is causing a stir getting into an argument with one of his own security guards at a hotel. He will most likely have to have a meeting about this new incident with the NFL commish. Hopefully for the sake of retro video games he will be forever stripped of the name pacman, because so far he has done nothing to deserve a name as legendary as the great yellow, pill swallowing Pac-Man.

But then again, what does Scrappy know?

Suicide Hotline

Someone, some where cares about you. Sometimes you feel that things are just overwhelming you, but realize that these feelings will not last. Suicide may be a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Just because you occasionally have thoughts about killing yourself, does not mean you truly want to die, rather it just mean you have more problems than you can deal with at a given time. What may be bearable to one person can be overwhelming for an entirely different person. Or perhaps there is just one more little thing in a series of many more problems that push you closer to that edge.

You can choose to live, but you need to seek help to relieve your pain. There are people out there who will listen to your troubles, even if it doesn't seem like anyone cares. If you feel like suicide is the answer please do not hesitate to call our suicide hotline. We have many people who are willing to listen to your troubles and not judge you for the way you feel. Many of the people you talk to have been in situations where they have felt like they wanted out, but found a way to overcome these thoughts.

Please call 1-888-CubsFan now, you are not the only loser out there.

CubsFan suicide hotline: 100 years of experience saving lives...Just ask Steve Bartman

We have even helped non cubs fans such as:
Terrell Owens
Owen Wilson
Britney Spears
Halle Berry
Drew Carey
Gary Coleman
Dwight Gooden and many others

Remember there is always next year.

But then again, what does Scrappy know?

F.A.G. against Juice

Lucky Number 13 came up big in Las Vegas unless your name was Orenthal James Simpson. O.J. was convicted of an armed robbery that occurred on Sept. 13 and was found guilty by a jury on the 13th anniversary of his L.A. murder acquittal. The Vegas jury deliberated for 13 hours after a 13-day trial. So perhaps this means the “Juice” is no longer loose reports espn.com.

But it could get worse for O.J. here soon. Reports are that he will also be on trial in Hollywood California by the Film Actors Guild (F.A.G.). George Clooney is the elected judge, juror, and prosecution of the F.A.G. It is up to him to review video tapes of O.J. Simpson’s acting and sports announcing to see if he will be allowed to appear on television or movies anytime soon. Clooney’s job is going to be a tedious one because many remember O.J. in the Naked Gun movies, he also appeared in more than 10 television shows and did some sports commentary. All of it was nearly unbearable the first time around, we can only imagine how painful it will be for Clooney to watch these.

We asked one of the members of the F.A.G. board, Nicolas Cage, on his feelings about the F.A.G.’s case against O.J. Here are some excerpts from what Mr. Cage had to say.

“First off, I represent the worst actors in the Film Actors Guild. I have been tried several times myself because no matter what movie I appear in I play the same role over and over again. They allowed me to stay in Hollywood because my movies still find some way to make money. We feel that nothing that O.J. does now will be beneficial, money wise, to the F.A.G. His acting ability may be just slightly worse than mine, but his crowning achievement was his ability to play an innocent man, and was nominated for a F.A.G. award for the scene where he had to make a glove that we all know fit look like it didn’t. Unless silent films make a comeback I feel O.J.’s acting career is over.”

Nicolas Cage also hinted at the fact that Ben Affleck may be the next person on the list to be tried by the F.A.G. As long as Ben does not try to act as his own attorney Scrappy Sports is afraid that he may still remain in Hollywood.

But then again, what does scrappy know?

2008 Halftime show presents "Janet's other Boob"

Al Davis, count your blessings that you have complete control of the Raiders franchise, because if someone could fire you, they would have years ago. You said you spoke to Coach Kiffin after a game, and I still disagree…You rambled for 25 minutes about adult diapers and saint. johns wart, while Coach Kiffin got a quick nap….the press conference goes on for about 35 more minutes, mainly repeating the same thing over and over, but we get the point, you are a horrible owner and are trying to blame everyone else.


The Bengals in an attempt to downplay their recent history of being a bunch of trouble makers who can’t stay out of prison decided to sign one of the NFL’s most upstanding citizens Cedric Benson. He has only been known to question his coaches (even though Lovie Smith needs to be), drive boats while intoxicated, and drive his car while intoxicated. The court has ordered him to have a breathalyzer placed in his car, his boat, his bicycle, his moped, and for precaution his dog was also fitted with one “just in case” was the judges words. And you thought Ocho Cinco was a problem? When the Bengals were asked why they brought in Cedric Benson they answered “We are still waiting on Rae Carruth to be released on good behavior.”


Sources reported seeing “what you talkin about” Willis McGahee outside an Applebee’s last night, Apparently they were serving Baby Backs with injured Ribs.


After seeing Boldin get laid out in a scary helmet to helmet hit, and hearing of the Smith 1 game suspension and 50G fine. Several fortune 500 company employees decided to try the same on their work opposition in an attempt to get a head start up the corporate ladder. However instead of a mere fine and one day without pay, they are spending time in a minimum security prison, I believe it is called Club Med.


Superbowl halftime show performer was announced. This year we can enjoy the musical styling of The Boss, Mr. Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. One question, what do they do with the halftime show if by some chance he dies between now and then. Everyone loves lists so here is my Top 5 ideas for a back up plan.


5) Disney on Ice presents: the NFL get out of jail free halftime show.
4) Kid n Play Halftime Party (Not to be confused with 1993’s Michael Jackson Halftime Show "Heal the World: Michael Jackson and 3,500 local children."
3) Chanting Monks
2) 24 (they announce a terrorist bomb threat at the stadium and Jack Bauer saves the day…the second half has to be played Monday because they forgot to tell security about the halftime show theme)
1) Janet Jackson’s other boob.

But then again, what does Scrappy know?